:: my little box ::

Wednesday, April 26

I wonder if I've had a similar title for any of my posts before...

Today was the 1st interview session I had for the Medicine interviews... Wow, it brings back memories... I recall the time when i was sitting in the hot seat, trying to impress the socks (ok, not quite) off my interviewers... haha... Actually i guess it seemed like that to me at that time, but looking at it from the perspective of an interviewer, its not so much the content of what the candidate says, but rather the way they express themselves, which shows what they're like as a person.

I guess after doing psychomed, U can really understand how a person's conversation reflects their personality. This wasn't so evident to me, till i learnt about how "thought disorders" eg. loosening association are reflected in one's speech. Odd that such a simple logical concept has to be taught... ;) One's thought is reflected in one's speech, because we use speech to communicate our thoughts! :)

Looking back, i try to assess myself according to my own standards... would I have passed? I think so. But i must admit that my level maturity at that time was not as high as some of the candidates I saw today. (but of course it was the same or higher than others) I wouldn't say I was an outstanding candidate. Maybe they liked my expressiveness, my energy and could sense my passion and excitement as I told them about my experiences... (i tend to get quite animated at times ;) I really don't know. And I guess I'll never know cos I can't possibly see the records in the dean's office.

With regards to interviews, I'm not really looking for someone with straight 'A's, but rather whether the person seems suited to do medicine. I guess most of the shortlisted candidates have outstanding results, and what really sets apart the 'chosen ones' from those who're unfortunate not to get a place is really their attitude. The answer is obvious, if you're asked to choose between a 4A student with absolutely no compassion for his fellow classmates and patients vs a 3A student who is the exact opposite. So i guess we are looking for people with the right attitude.

Odd right? Just a couple of years back i felt that results, S papers were really important, but i have come to realise (maybe i've matured) that there really is MORE to a person than their academic results. Many might question the possibility of knowing a person's personality from a short 15-30 min interview. Well, i don't really know about the sensitivity and specificity (forgive me for being so COFMish, but i've kinda switched into COFM mode for the interview cos i've been asking non-stop about compassion, and the ART of healing) of interviews, but i must say that I have managed to identify candidates who really touch me with their stories, who have convinced me that they sincerely want to do medicine for greater good. I hope that what i see is true, and its not because i'm particularly gullible or that they are very good actors and actresses.

You don't need to be exceptionally articulate. You just need to be sincere and passionate/enthusiastic. By enthusiastic I don't mean Tom Cruise style, but rather show interest in the interview. Show that you are glad to be here, that you are comfortable in our presence, yet not so comfortable that you look bored... (some appeared less enthu) Sincerity is not something that can be trained. It comes from within.

The candidates I felt the most for were those who could relate experiences that were close to my heart. Like seeing a patient hang on for dear life, yet feeling helpless and not being able to help. Or that many elderly folk are suffering from debilitating diseases. Just recently, the gravity of our aging population hit me. I was in a Medicine ward that day, and all the patients were above 50. (at least) All heads of white, occasionally mixed with grey. Somehow, seeing elderly people sick makes me feel very sad inside. They have gone through so much in life. They deserve to play and enjoy the fruit of their labour. Yet, many suffer from chronic debilitating diseases. It really pains me to see this, and this is why i cannot be a geriatrician in future.

Just 3 years in medicine has changed my life. If i was really like these young 18 year olds then, wow, they are idealistic. Now I'm more pragmatic. I have seen more of life (not alot, but a little more to know more about the ways of the world).

haha... i have no idea why i wrote this post... just had the feeling... anyway i wonder how many people actually read my posts? Well, i guess most of you who do probably find this post redundant, cos U're already in med school! Haha... Sorry, put up with my rambling... ;)

*Me to You*
Tatter teddy posted at 12:35 am

Sunday, April 23

As medicine interviews are around the corner, this question comes to mind again: Why do you want to be a doctor?

And after 3 years of medical school, and 1 year of clinical ward work, i think i've finally reached the answer.

And no, its not about making money...

Its a real simple thing...

To see the smile on the patient's face when you help them.

You don't need to cure them, or make their illness better. Sometimes, its about reliving pain, listening, reassuring and helping in all ways.

I was doing ward round with the team in SGH, and this old uncle was smiling at the doctors, saying "thank you doctor"... And although i wasn't the one he was thanking, I felt fulfilled... and that was when i realised, to me, is what being a doctor's all about...

*Me to You*
Tatter teddy posted at 1:16 am

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